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BREAKING Man Arrives On Time to Jewish Event; Stands Alone for 45 Minutes; Has Learned His Lesson
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Social Life

Social Life

Jewish Mother Successfully Guilts Son Into Calling More Often by Saying Absolutely Nothing

The silence, lasting eleven seconds, is believed to have added three weekly phone calls to her schedule and one recurring sense of mild dread to his.

A 31-year-old man from Queens confirmed this week that he now calls his mother three additional times per week following what he describes as "an eleven-second silence" during a phone call in October. He did not ask what the silence meant. She did not explain. Both parties understood.

The mother, reached for comment, said only that she was "glad he calls more." When asked if the silence was intentional, she said she didn't know what we were talking about. When asked a second time, she said she had to go, there was something on the stove. There was nothing on the stove. Sources inside the kitchen confirmed this.

The son says the calls are "going fine." He describes them as lasting between 22 and 47 minutes, covering topics including his health, his diet, his apartment ("the good one or the other one"), and, periodically, his parking situation. He has begun taking notes. He does not know why he is taking notes. He takes them anyway.

"You should come more often. I don't say that to make you feel bad. I say it because you should come more often."
— Every Jewish Parent, Simultaneously, Without Coordination
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